I’m lost without you, my compass of life,
In the depths of reality, I’m roughly strung.
I’m drowned in the dark, and I’m scared,
Without you, there is no horizon for me.
Every day has become my worst nightmare,
The loneliest and scariest of all days,
The days that threaten my paths and sanity.
Without you, oblivion is my destination.
I know I messed up, we both messed up,
Twas unpleasant at the beginning our story.
We made attempts to mend us, and we did,
With your guidance, I learnt the universe.
We both swore into forever, our world,
Our new reality, that we’d face them together,
They who whisked us, but you left me.
Now I’m lost papa, and I feel like following you.
It’s tough, it really is and I’m sinking in my sorrow,
It’s not easy to rise up, without thinking of you,
To face the demons and monsters in me.
For you aren’t going to drag my lazy ass out of bed,
Or going to make fun of me for being angry with you.
I can’t do this alone. I can’t even be sad,
Because I just want you, beside my brother and I.
I need you, I always have and I miss you.
I miss your voice. I miss the time we spent together.
I miss your hugs. I miss the way you’d say,
“Son, your brother and the world need you strong.”
If only I could take back our arguments,
Then relish the happy moments, I would.
Every day I listened beyond our all of it,
Our agreements and disagreements, you said to.
I know you’d hate this but, if only papa.
If only I could change everything and start over,
If only I had the courage to pretend, but I don’t.
It’s hard, what happens now? Now that you left,
Who’s going to keep me company and teach me,
The ways of the world, and be my one true man?
I know you never were good with goodbyes,
But pappi, I only wish you said goodbye.
Yes, you now are a memory, but not just any.
You are the one distinct imprint papa,
The one in my heart, mind and soul.
The reason I have to try and keep moving forward.
I know I promised I won’t be sad after you left,
But I can’t help the emotional turmoil in me.
Focus on the positives I will, but can only hope,
To see you soon, even if in just my dreams.
You always were my superglue Papa,
You were my charming death sentence Pappi,
Funny how you took it for me. I’m trapped,
Trapped between happiness and sadness,
Hey Pappi, don’t charm the angels just yet,
Go slow handsome. Till we meet again.
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