It all started with a simple photo on Facebook,
And not even I could have predicted this “us”,
The hours we spent video calling were insane,
The impacts an everlasting seal of symphony.
The mutual feelings and strong connections,
A dedication that had heart drumming in my ears,
And for months so much happened with us,
With you being the choice of my cruel sanity.
The surprise visits to your folks, unsanctioned,
The cheer and merry that had me hyperventilating,
The wavering normalcy and trembles on my feet,
The day that saw me admiring you even more.
I was happy, you were happy, everyone was happy,
And I cherished that day, my sole perfection,
Or so I thought until I realized it was all fake,
All of it, because all of you had betrayed me.
I was just another girl to your people, miffed.
One whose sole duty was your company and desire,
Just another of the many you had in queue.
I knew and know this, yet some part of me hopes,
I’m still hoping you can look at “us” again,
Because my heart refuses to let you go,
I’m ripped and hurting yet I still want you,
The source of my battled brain and heart.
You pull the strings of my sanity so roughly,
You mess up and apologize like a routine,
Ruining hearts and bending wills like a magnet,
Then when your turn comes, you play coward.
You give up on us when it was you who messed up,
You choke me on my tears when you promised,
You swore to provide me beautiful comfort and sanity,
You claim your life is messed up but what about mine?
I trusted you and you effortlessly betrayed me,
I gave in to your demands even when it broke me,
I loved you even when you played auctioned hearts,
And auctioned my heartbeats in a tug of war.
I can’t keep all this me, that’s why I’m telling you,
I love you even when my reality with you is shattered.
I need you here, with me, not out of your guilt,
Not away covering in the shadows of your uncertainty.
I need you here because I know you can feel this,
The connection that has the subconscious seated,
That has the brain resting and watching in the back.
I need you because you are my sole being’s lifeline,
My trusted protector and shield, my love and mine.
I need you here with me, because if you let me,
I’ll fight for the both of us while you rest sweetheart,
Anything, if that’s what it takes to get us back together.
Don’t give up on us just yet, not this soon,
Please stay, I’ll be good I swear on the stars,
I’m flawed, but if perfect is your standard,
Then like a mantra in my world of music,
I’ll work so hard to be flawless, just for you.
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