THIS IS FOR YOU

This is for you, the woman who controlled me,
Who blinded me with a love so strong,
The kind that even heavens couldn’t match,
That even I, had no power over. The love.
The woman who taught me what love was,
Who became my obsession and master,
The one I couldn’t ever say a “no” to,
You, the perfect beginning of my end.

Happiness. What my heart desires by day,
You were my happiness, my everything,
I wanted you, just you and no one else.
But then just like every beautiful story,
Ours came to an end, one which haunts me,
Every second and moment my cold life.
It wasn’t what I ever thought I wanted,
Because I did everything I could for you.

I wanted us together even when we drifted,
When I was never going to be enough for you,
When the world you wanted was with him,
The one whose identity you hide with masks,
That one who you think I don’t know exists,
Even when you wanted to hook me up with her,
When you insisted she was the only good for me,
But nothing could replace you, my best friend.

And I fell in love with her, your friend,
Who you insisted was good for me,
But maybe she was too perfect for me,
Because she was never going to be mine,
She knew it and maybe you knew it too,
For she loved another girl, another woman,
And I’m no woman, just a man in love,
A man who you spelled and charmed.

So yeah, this is for you, just you, all of it.
I write to tell you how broken my heart is,
How shattered it is beyond repair,
How ruined I am because of you.
I don’t want to pin this on you and I’m not,
I’m just letting you know what you did,
What my obsession of you led me to,
What I wish I could get out of so fast.

And even when my heart is shattered,
Even when I’m pained and hurting,
I still manage to smile at your thought,
At all the stupid things I did just for you,
At the ignorance I forced myself into, for you.
Because my heart somehow can’t let you go,
Even when it’s obvious you don’t want me,
Maybe because we were best friends first.