by Pasithea Chan
Why are you all crying?
Thank you for the flowers
but I won’t be needing them anymore.
The nightmares are over.
It’s been years without you here.
The same nightmare over and over:
Falling from a cliff into this
bottomless haunting abyss.
Everyday, each of you pushed me to do
what I did, so I have nothing to say to you.
I was hurting, dying inside but you
couldn’t see or feel though I tried to tell you
but you chose to hide behind expectation and what’s real.
I’m sorry if being free, upsets you
but it’s my way from now on not you.
No more struggles to fit in
No more explaining about me.
You saw the dark in me, not the hurt that ate me.
You heard am bad; not that I was sad.
You felt the change in me not the war in me.
You watched me wilt into a shadow that’s lost its wit.
You helped them drain me out of life bit by bit.
So today, I will let you sit by my casket as regrets hit
you with questions like a fit leaving your heart in a rift.
Hurt is not a joke you can poke
at when darkness takes a walk.
Life is a slumber that woke
in death’s wake to stoke
conscience in you folk
in hope your empathy can provoke
change and acceptance for those
who couldn’t take it and finally spoke:
I’m free, you sit here, I will walk.
Author’s Notes:
Depression is a silent killer that takes away people we never knew because if we knew them we would’ve known they were suffering. We live in a fast world where patience and empathy are on the go as per prescriptions of social etiquette and norms. However, this take is lacking because it leaves room for death emotionally, mentally and socially to take over via depression long before the act of taking life happens. It’s funny but true: people say a whole lot nicer things about you when you’re dead and give you flowers because you don’t need it anymore and that’s the last bidding they can do to say they’ve paid your due. Well I Will Walk is a tribute to all the fallen souls in the mortal world that have risen to find freedom beyond depression’s abyss. May you all find peace and may we wake up before we sit next to more caskets.
#hurt #suicide #depression #poetry #change #acceptance #peace #freedom #mentalillness #understanding
About the Author
