NEW BEGINNING

She just stared at the grass lazily swaying in the wind and the colourful butterflies hoping without a care. The grey clouds were slowly gathering, it would be a heavy downpour. “A cup of hot chocolate, cookies and fuzzy socks would be nice,” she thought. So, she dragged herself to the kitchen to make a cup of hot chocolate. The screaming silence in the house was killing her but she had already turned down an offer from a friend to go out. It’s that time of the year where we kill ourselves making new resolutions and shedding off toxic habits which we will soon revisit come February next year. All the same, whatever floats your boat. She picked a novel which was now covered in dust from lack of reading for a whole 365 days and sat by the window. By now, it was raining heavily. She watched the hot chocolate steam off and smiled to herself, she loved such days. It was almost the end of the year which meant no deadlines, no paperwork, no morning alarms, just the end of year party which happened to be one of her favourite events.
The novel was a gift from a friend during her last birthday so she felt indebted and guilty. She was no reader but she owed it to him to at least give it a try. It was a nice book, she could tell from the prologue which was as far as she got, a very thoughtful gift for someone who was fascinated by the world of books, that person was not her. She loved art so a nice painting would have been a better choice but you do not turn down a gift from a friend with a smile worth melting for, so she took the book and put it on her bookshelf to be forgotten for an entire year. Getting past the first chapter was an effort in futility so instead she picked her diary to put down her thoughts and here is what she wrote:
“Our happiness should never be tagged to something, not to grades , not to people’s opinion, not to our position in other people’s lives which we actually exaggerate most of the time and end up being hurt, not to our future plans because tomorrow is not promised, this could be your last sunset, not to your knight in shiny armour or Cinderella or to the idea of being better than others. Let happiness just flow from within, whatever that means to you. That no matter how crappy things are, reach out to that little child within and find your happy place. And hold onto to the little pleasures of life that make you happy. Whether its singing in the shower or dancing even when you know your moves are pathetic or watching the sunset or making coffee and watching a movie or putting on your favourite pair of socks or trying out dresses even when you have no place to go or dressing up and wearing your favourite perfume just to go out with yourself or listening to your favourite song a thousand and one times or going to your favourite coffee shop and simply watch people, I could write a million things but whatever it is that brings sunshine to your soul, hold onto that. Happiness is rare, and it doesn’t matter if people think it’s stupid, if it makes you happy do it. Treasure the little pleasures of life.
And dedicate yourself to bettering you every single day, whether by reading a book, journaling, meditating, yoga, just take baby steps. Every new day is an opportunity to start again, to right the wrongs and try harder. If the mountain seems too big to climb, then climb a hill. The mountain will still be there when you feel you are ready. It’s not quitting, it’s a quiet retreat and when you are strong enough, you give it another shot. And track your progress and if at the end of the week you have achieved your goals, go buy yourself ice-cream, or milkshake or make a nice meal and watch a movie, you deserve it. Learn to celebrate every little achievement, it means a lot. It doesn’t matter if someone else did the exact same thing and got better results, don’t downplay your achievement. All that matters is that you did your best and you did it your way, you lived your way. You are unique in every way and comparing yourself to someone else is the greatest injustice. Every single morning before you leave the house, look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are beautiful and brave and amazing.” She closed her diary, smiled to herself and sipped her hot chocolate. It was still a couple of days before the year ended but with the little piece of advice she had written down, she felt fresh, that feeling you have on New Year.