♏365 days. That’s how long I’ve loved and lost, the mornings, noons and evenings I lived through, how long I’ve crashed and got back up, how my mental stability phased in and out of consciousness whilst I couldn’t do shit, that’s how many times I met more than 365 people, how I lost and lost and lost until I actually gave up, only to be snapped back in roughly, how I met people who actually mattered and lost people who thought they didn’t matter, that’s how long I was broken, damaged, shattered beyond repair, trapped and bullied by my own consciousness, that’s how long I missed out on some of the things I should have done but didn’t do, that’s how long I cried myself to the sleep I never really got.
365 days. That’s how long I watched the skies slowly fade away, the sun silently cry, the universe break by bits, that’s how long I watched my sanity crash, how long I helplessly watched my friends fade into the darkest pits, how long I watched the people I love pretend to be strong, how long I watched masks fall because it was pointless keeping them on when they didn’t hide nothing. That’s how long I watched myself in the mirror of life, how many times I got stuck trying to figure out the how’s and why’s of humanity, how long the mental health sessions became both useless and useful at the same time, that’s how many times life played pretend nintendo on me, mine and us.
But 365 days. That’s how many days I watched people give others a purpose, hope, new dawns. That’s how long I saw selflessness, kindness, love, faith, patience and self control come together without conflict, that’s how long I felt the universe shift, how long the change I wished actually became a reality, how long the lives we never knew impacted on us, how long the love we never thought we deserved followed us through and through, how long reality smiled down at the human race, how long a part of humanity finally decided to embrace themselves, how the charts were no longer filled with crosses instead of lines, how the graphs tilted in favor of love and happiness.
Yes 365 days of 2019. That’s just how long we were blessed, how long we had hope and love, how long life actually made sense, how long we got to make families bigger, how long things got in track, how long darkness loomed over whilst the stars shine brighter, that’s how long there was a balance.
So for the 365 days of 2019 that I met and knew you, that I got to know you, that I lost you, that you stayed, that I learnt, that I valued new strings, for those 365 days, no matter how long or rough or unpleasant or cursed or blessed they seemed, for those days, we were blessed, you and I, you and us, I’mma hope we all crossover to new beginnings and special old ties??♏
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