UNSPOKEN WORDS

Splinters in my butt from sitting on the fence
Indecisive of which course to take
Of the choices to make
Options spread wide as a lake
But all of them ending in one thing, my damnation

She lent me her ears
Gave me her heart
Stuck with me for all the years
Yet I toyed with her feelings
I pretended to love everything of hers
It were all lies, layers
And layers of utter lies

Perhaps am a bad person
My words are nothing but poison
Hurtful, distasteful

She deserved better
Not the deceit I wove in the letters
Not the promises I made only to break later

She gave me her life, and I plotted to leave her
To run with another, to run with someone she banked on
A friend, someone that I wasn’t supposed to look at in
The way I did, what can I say, am dumb as it gets

Now she’s gone from sight,
Never to be seen again, never
To utter a word, never to grace
Her friends and family with her charm
She’s gone forever and am to blame

Am at a brink of falling, falling
Into the abyss and to rot never to see the
Light of day, she isn’t here to
Save me from myself, and if at all she was
To rise from the grip of death, I wouldn’t
Still forgive me, am far from redemption,
Am far from saving. Am a monster!

~Muzamir