GRIEVING

Everytime I see I see you,
Everytime I walk I feel you,
Everything that happens to me reminds me of you
Everyone that speaks to me comes in your face.

Whenever my mum sings it reminds me of your voice,
I miss you so much loice,
I miss the last dollar I spent on you
I miss the last date I marked on my calendar.

The fews months we visited the coast this year,
I still miss this place we were to visit on Sunday,
I miss the plans I placed on the table for you.
The very exact plans that He used against me.

The very exact moments he spent with you.
Your sickness was solely brought by my presence
And one with whom you played for a fool
I remember those nights I prayed for you.

Those evening masses I attended to easen my thoughts
I still remember how therapist ran out of ideas to make us work
I still see you when I sleep
I gave you a tunnel to peace forever.

But my heart aches as a lover
I sent you away So I could have what belonged to me.
You keep tormenting me every night
And this seems not to be right.
I’m left wondering why your sole seeks for mine when your heart never wanted to stay.