REVULSION II

I’ve perched on the shoulders of giants
Only to tumble later
I’ve scoured the earth for precocious gems
And what have I reaped? Nothing!

I’ve divulged my intent
To me it seemed right
Out of heart
To them I was making a fool out of myself
Maybe I was a fool, a wise fool
Or perhaps I was just naive and couldn’t discern
Naive with my head in the clouds
Naive and way out of my depth

Foolhardily anyway I did
I tried to fit in where clearly I knew I didn’t
And wouldn’t even in the wildest of ideals
I was ascetically too queer to have someone
Look at me twice without gagging

I was stroked with an ailment with no cure
I was stroked with an ailment of self pity
I was always between a rock and a darn hard place
To and not to
The long wry faces
The meaningless strolls

If only I knew better
Except I didn’t.

Muzamir