So it’s quite a while since I really sat to think about life. It’s been a while since I really decided to consider every aspect of good old life. See, I’m quite the overthinker; not just about decisions. But also about songs, food and clothes, among others. I’m sure there are more like me out there. Perhaps others more. But my point is, for overthinkers such as I, the aspect of letting things happen isn’t easy. It’s like asking a dog to give up it’s bone; it can, but it’s difficult.
Many tell you to stop thinking too much, but the problem is not the thinking. It’s usually the little “what ifs” that surround a particular aspect of life. If I pick this, what will happen? Should I pick this meal over the other, what are the possibilities that arise? Could I possibly get terrible gas influx? Could I possibly not make it well? Could I possibly get food poisoning from not cooking it well? We can’t seem to be rid of the endless questions, but that’s the thing.
Clothes… One of the biggest issues we’ve had to deal with. See, overthinkers cannot stand to have questions without answers. Everything leads to something and something could lead to anything. So does this item of clothing need a different pair of shoes? Does the colour suit the wearer? What If it gets too cold for just a spaghetti blouse? What if these shorts get dirty and I can’t go home? What if I get late and have to sleep there? What will I wear then? What if my make up washes off? What if my crush meets me and I can’t hide in this hoodie? It seems endless, but that’s the thing.
New places are possibly the worst. New experiences, new people. The questions are literally endless and render you powerless. Will they be kind? Are there people like me? Do they have my favorite game? Are there people my age? Will I weird them out? Will I disadvantage myself if I am my noisy self? Will they even like me? What if I say something that causes another to hate me? What if I sound rude? What if I’m too quiet? What if I am not what they expected? It seems far-fetched but these are just the start, and that’s really the thing.
Relationship wise? Eh, don’t get me started. Does she like this flower? Oh, what if she has an allergic reaction to this flower or food and could possibly die. What if he’s not picking my calls because he’s dead? Or worse, he’s cheating? What if she doesn’t love me anymore? What if she never loved me? What if it’s my money she was after? What if he just wanted to get close to my best friend? Will she like these earrings? What if and what if? We can never sit still because we’ve thought up the possibilities and none are too pleasing. Or worse, we end up being right. And that’s just the thing.
We seem insecure but that’s not it. Too inquisitive, too cynical, too insensitive, too clingy, too shallow, too quiet, too noisy. But that’s not it. We are trying to make up for the possibilities we’ve thought up. We’re just trying to figure out how to make up for our weird moments, our anxieties, our many many contingency plans. And that’s just the thing.
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