Dealing With Depression Part 2: At the Family Level

If you are clicking to our website for the first time and meeting this post as the first one, it would be essential to realize that this particular article is a sequel to the two articles “Dealing With Depression Part 1: At the Individual Level” and ‘Signs that you Could be on a Path to Depression,’ which follow each other in the stated order. You should know what I want to suggest to you now. Yes, you are correct in your guess, to go chronological. I don’t mean that you will not benefit if you just read this alone, not really. Instead, I am saying that you could benefit more if you had the foundation together. You can get the most by getting to read the preceding write-ups in this series. 

We have seen signs of depressive disorders and how you can handle them at a personal level. We will now take a bold step ahead and see how to be there for a third party who is depressed or a potential candidate. The reality, in most cases, hits us with people suffering from depression and who can either open up on their challenges or whom we can identify based on the information we have so far on the way a depressed individual responds.  

Knowing how to respond to a depressed person is very important. In most cases, depressed individuals are affected by mistakes made by those supposed to care for them. Some depressed individuals have made wrong decisions based on how they were treated by those privileged to give them better treatment. The following tips could prove helpful when attending to a depressed soul: 

• Establishing the Course of Depression.

No depression just comes out of nothing. All depressive disorders are associated with something too much for one to handle at such a particular time. The demand of the moment is either psychologically, emotionally, economically, or mentally overtasking. It will be of good report to get to know what exactly is affecting them or causing them the dark night of sorrow. This is not a full guarantee that you will be successful. You may not even know how to deal with the particular depressant. However, knowing precisely the burden of the soul will make it easier for you to find the right specialist, just in case you are in the capacity to deal with it. Dealing with the wrong depressant is more of a physician that administers antibiotics to treat viral infection.  You can establish this by asking, observing, and noting the trends of their behavior.

• Dealing with depressants, not the depressed.

After establishing the depressant, deal with it, not the depressed. The person is not the problem, but the depressant is the problem. Employ measures aimed at keeping the depressant away, not changing the person. Avoid the temptation of blaming the person or making them feel out of place. Even if you had warned them before or given them a better option, and they went prodigal to their destruction, focus on the problem, not the person. Don’t look for whom to blame, but for the problem to solve and whom to help. If the problem is solved, the person will be  ‘solved.’

• Reminding them of their self-worth.

Pains of life and depressing circumstances, apart from cutting the cables of life, tend to destroy people’s self-worth. This could be the reason why most depressed individuals live in denial. They can’t imagine that they are held down with depression, and this makes the work of helping them out very crucial and which needs a lot of carefulness.  Haven’t you seen drunkards staggering, announcing by their demeanor that they are 100% going to fail the sobriety test if subjected to one, yet by the word of mouth they are yelling, “I am not drunk!” To some extent, the depressed try to solve their problems by denial. This is an opportunity to remind them not to hide in pretense. Let them come out minimizing defining themselves based on their troubles. Let them know that they are still important. Remind them of all the special things you can remember about them. Let them know that you still need them, especially by quoting some instances that you survived because of their involvement. Boosting one’s self-worth helps them to get the spark of life with which they cling to life a little longer.

• Reminding them of the reality of life.

Over and above all, it will prove beneficial, especially for their coping mechanism to be told point-blank of the truth about life. Though depressed and giving up, you should avoid the danger of misrepresenting the facts of life. The cost of living may not be tailored to suit one depressed by the economic pressures of life. People will not treat them as exceptions just because they have been depressed before. Their withdrawal could have resulted from being overthrown in social interaction, yet they should be ready to be more stable in their next relationship. Life is not as easy as the slothful would want it to be; it should be made clear. Some people make the mistake of misrepresenting the realities of life to the depressed. They create a utopia and serve it generously. This could be a risky move and may be deemed as being cheaply regarded by the victims. Losing the confidence and trust of a person you are trying to help is a terrible failure in counseling, and outrightly put, is irredeemable. Ensure you prepare them to face the vicissitudes of life with a better format than in their previous experience. 

Over and above all, seek a professional if you cannot handle the situation. As you do this great and noble work, always remember that dealing with minds is the noblest of works we can ever take part in. The mind is the measure of a man. Handle it with the utmost decorum.