WHY THERE’S UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH RELATIVES

WHY THERE’S UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH RELATIVES_ by Otieno Daniel Ouma


SOMETIMES IT’S DARK WITH RELATIVES


It’s meals that brings us together especially during funerals. I’ve grown up knowing that my family is my last reference and inference. Extended family is hope of the broken torch. I got bothered with my relationship with my relatives but later realised that 70% of my friends too had a detached connection with their extended family. Do relatives have a role in my life? To the best of my knowledge, it’s a no.

In fact some relatives have been the cause of pressure and deterent of success. They’re always available for competition not complement. I came to learn that most of African families have poor connection with their extended families.
I have witnessed relatives that have unhealthy relationships due to negative parenting. Most of my friends admit that their parents at a point gave them instructions that banned them from interacting with some of their closest relatives and courtesy of their respect to their parents, they heed to the instruction. They also admitted that sometimes their parents would speak ill about some of their relatives which made them fearful to contact such relatives.
Most of relatives also have disjointed connection because of consanguineal property dispute. I know a number of families that fight because of ancestral land. This fight has caused detachment among relatives. Some relatives have also killed each other because of scrambling for ancestral property. Since most of our grandparents never written will, this resulted to enmity among brothers, and sisters.
Some relatives are ungrateful and arrogant after being helped, this also results to uncomfortable family relationships.
Classism and class envy is another deterent of healthy relationships among relatives. A number of my friends disclosed that in their families, sometimes they’re restricted not to interact with their impoverished relatives since they’re in low class and uninformed , that they would be injected with poverty and backwardness. Jealousy is a poison to better relationship, some families are jealous of their own relatives because they’ve not achieved much as their relatives have achieved. They envy progress of their relatives, this hampers their relationship with them.
Family estrangement causes detachment among families. Some relatives are urban based to an extent that they do not interact with their relatives from upcountry. Some are also abroad therefore they’re unable to contact their relatives. This distance may result to unhealthy relationship among some families. I have seen some families that refuse to return home because of wickedness and witchcraft.
Healthy family relationship is important since it promotes unity and harmony. Our relationship with relatives should be built on basis of character, values and necessary principles to uphold comfortable interactions.