That Kind Of Responsibility

It scares me
The thought of being a parent
That one day
Someone is going to completely
Rely on me

I struggle with taking care
Of myself
How am i to manage
Adding someone else
Into the mix

I wasn’t brought up on love
It was all about survival
And I don’t know how to
See past those wounds
Or turn them into anything
Other than tragic

So forgive me if I worry
I might turn into you
Scare my children away
And baptize it respect
To make it easier for me to swallow

I have nightmares about
That kind of responsibility
And how easy it is
To fall on just anyone’s shoulder
Especially the less deserving.