Conversation With Myself

Somebody I couldn’t be
started speaking to me
in voices I couldn’t define
Part of me sounded like a trap
laid to meet those who
lived in the bargain of a devil
Elements of sobriety were disoriented
in my mind,
I struggled,
I couldn’t be that person
who would try to love like in songs,
Or in an idyllic movie scene.

I was still finding myself,
I wasn’t ready made,
I was just a blurb to what I thought
I already knew about myself,
In search to know me
I went quiet for sometimes,
sidelined myself from the politics of love,
I didn’t want to be a wallflower in my own party.

Then you came before I found my voice
in silence,
Rotating my means to violence,
Before silence takes me to a rehab
I want to have a conversation with myself.