

All I wanted was to be part of it,
The little and loving perfect family,
I wanted to feel like one of you,
I wanted to be seen by all of you,
I was desperate for a place to call home,
I wanted to be acknowledged so bad,
So, I pushed myself and worked extra hours,
But nothing I ever did was ever enough for y’all.
I was always the last choice for y’all,
Even when y’all were sadly my only choice,
None of y’all out me first, not even once,
You treated me like an emotional train station,
Only remembered me when you needed me,
Because only I could handle the damages,
Without complaining about the pain,
Even when it hurt so bad, I wanted it to stop.
I needed you, and you abandoned me,
You left me alone, out in the rain,
You never bothered to check on me,
Because I was supposed to be the strong one,
The one who never once tapped out,
The one who was always going to show up,
The one who could understand everyone,
But why couldn’t you understand me?
Why couldn’t you hear my cries for help?
Why didn’t you pay attention to me?
Granted, I wouldn’t ask for it openly,
Because I knew you’d never see me anyway,
But still, I needed you to show up for me,
Instead, you broke me, over and again,
Reminding me of how much you hated my existence,
All I had was hope, and you trampled on it.
All you had to do was be there for me,
A smile in my direction would be enough,
But even that was too expensive for you,
You were okay taking care of others,
Keeping up your perfect image in society,
While I was withering in so much pain,
Waiting for you to come seek me out,
But those were just dreams of a broken soul.
I waited for you, for so many years,
Hoping you’d finally ask me about me,
Not about those I had to be perfect for,
Silently wishing that you’d pay attention,
But you never did, and I wanted to hate you,
I wanted to make you feel what I felt,
I wanted to introduce you to my pain,
But how could I, when I was always invisible?
You soullessly gratified your shortcomings,
Because I was the one with the heart,
But what if you know how much you ruined me?
Would you pretend to care this once?
I bet you’d curse my indifference again,
Because nothing I did was ever rough,
You made me feel so worthless over time,
Tell me, why was I never enough for you?
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