Staring in my best friend’s direction,
I saw a handsome stranger,
Hovering over me like a nightmare,
Smiling at me like the monster did,
But in that moment, as I looked at her,
I saw the devil I had learned to fear,
The girl who taught me love and trust,
Was the one who broke me first.
Perhaps I was always meant to be broken,
I should have been alert always,
I should have kept my guard up,
I should have done a lot to protect me,
But how was I to know about her?
How was I to tell that my confidant,
Would be the first person to take me out?
Or throw me out to the hungry wolves?
I loved that girl, I swear, she knew it too,
But maybe I just had extreme expectations,
And expected the same from her,
Love for her, didn’t have meaning,
As was loyalty, something she hated me for,
As I screamed for help under him,
As I called for anyone, to come for me,
I heard her laugh, that beautiful monster.
In the emptiness that I felt then,
In the disgust I felt when he pushed in,
Thrusting like his life depended on it,
Like I was his final poker score,
In all of that, I still hoped for her,
I hoped she would save me,
That she would tell them to stop,
But instead, she had a smirk of approval.
I heard you liked it this way,
I heard you valued the rough straps,
I heard you enjoyed the use of force,
Tell me darling, how am I doing so far,
Do you like it, or should I be fast,
How harder should I go,
That was all the stranger over me said,
While my best friend laughed at it.
So don’t blame me for not trusting anyone,
Don’t think me cold for always running,
Don’t blame me for pushing everyone away,
I loved a human once, and I was raped for it,
I loved a girl once, and she hated me for it,
I wanted a sister once, but all I got,
Was the beautiful monster with a smirk,
Perhaps I was always meant to be broken.
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