Lemonade

Lemonade
My mind levitates freely,
Then hits a wall.
Walls of realities .

Like someone suffering from bipolar
Thinking of you makes me happy and sad the next minute
Cure me, will you.

My heart cries and bleeds for our late love
For a connection that feels strong that it can kill
For a home, with I as the outsider.

I mourn my love for you,
Anxious about tomorrow,
Because it’s not an us against the world type of love.

I cry for you, my borrowed love.
I cry for my despair. I hurt for me, for this longing
For the ignited flames that won’t stop burning.

For the feeling of having something that keeps slipping
Like grabbing air and feeding on wind, to no satisfaction.
What did Solomon call it? Vanity. Right.

A love that hurts when it should be roses and crayons
A love that struggles to be accepted. A love that failed,
Even before it blossomed.

My love, it’s hard. Driving me crazy. Challenging my stability.
Now I know a heart can break itself,
By wanting, and not getting.

I miss you badly. Don’t judge me if I can’t let go easy
To hold onto you, even if only in my dreams.
Is a functioning facade.

With every rising sun, I ache for you.
To hear your voice every minute. To know you’re safe
Even if not with me.

A soul that needs surgery
Is all that’s left of me.
Hurts a tad bit much than I bargained for.