My 24-Year-Old Self

My 24 year old self
I miss you. I miss how naive you were
And how nothing shook you.

But right now, from where I stand,
I’m losing track of myself.

It’s so heartbreaking,
Cause I’m becoming the things I hated once upon a time.

I’m lost, I keep making foolish decisions
And I keep anticipating the rewards of my bankruptcy of wisdom.

I’m ashamed silently
My heart suffers quietly.

I crave real freedom. True liberty
I crave for innocence, and another beginning.

How many beginnings do I get though
Because I keep blowing up every new one that I’m granted.

I now believe that people can change
And I am capable of becoming the unbelievable.

I feel this vacuum inside of me,
Like I borrowed a dead person’s heart.

If I’m being sincere,
I’m breaking good things I built for so long
And I’m not sure who I am anymore.

Forgive me, Elizabeth.
I’m not who I thought I was.