You told me to be careful.
Careful of the city. Dread the people there
Not to involve myself in things you have always warned me about.
I’m sorry mom. I met someone.
I kinda like him. He is married too.
And he likes me a lot. At least that’s what he says.
I believe him. That’s the saddest part.
When we talk, I smile so easily
When we don’t, I feel a void in my heart. An ache in my soul.
Mom, is love a bad thing? I don’t know if I love him
If I do, cause that’s where I’m headed,
Will I have wronged you?
Will my prayers not be answered by God
Will my life be miserable because I can’t control myself with him
Will karma visit me and make me pay what’s due?
I never wanted this. There was no spark, just a big flame
He makes my morning. He makes my day
I don’t sleep without hearing his voice. And everytime, I smile mom.
I feel good and bad at the same time
Liking isn’t a sin. Loving isn’t a sin.
But how you raised me makes me doubt my own happiness
I’m I even happy? Or I’m i just sailing through a lie
Thinking I can be happy with someone who’s not mine
Mom, tell me… I’m i feeling the right thing?
Or maybe the emptiness that was within
Is slowly getting filled up
And I like the feeling of fullness. Not lacking. Not insufficient.
Oh mother, this is not defiance
It’s just being human.
May my self control come in time and save me
Before I plummet into the arms of a lover I really want.
About the Author
