Safety And It’s Scarcity

I have learned so much from growing older,
I understand more,
I am a bit kinder,
A bit more forgiving of past hurts.

I realize I have not known safety,
Not so much in physical ways, but internally;
There was never room to feel,
There was always shame attached to feeling.

I have so many memories,
Of hiding my bleeding heart;
Healing in solitude,
Burying so many hurts.

But…. my heart is a stubborn little thing,
Choosing to feel despite its unwelcomeness.
The trouble with my shameless heart is that it breaks constantly,
Always having to mend from one thing or the other.

Shame is a powerful thing,
It seeps deep into your bones.
Even now I still struggle,
To feel what I need to feel.