BORROWED ROOMS AND BELONGINGS

BORROWED ROOMS AND BELONGING

She saved me
or so I told myself
every time I saw her
because I needed
to believe it

She took me in
when I had no one
when silence was louder
than my own name

She comforted me
in her own quiet ways
For a moment
I truly thought
I belonged

But belonging is fragile
when it only lives
in borrowed rooms
and borrowed moments

It feels real
until you realize
it was never yours
to keep

It fades before you notice
it slipping away
And suddenly
you are an outsider again

To her
I was one of many
welcome
but never essential
or chosen

Not important enough
to be considered
when choices were made

Not important enough
for her to protect
our fragile friendship

Now she sleeps
beside the very thing
I once cried
to her about

She says we are good
Doesn’t see the shift
because she never
lost anything
I did

The friends I called mine
were always borrowed
they were hers not mine
They came through her
and stayed with her

I am grateful
for the moments
they held me together
But I will forever grieve
what I thought was mine

And I am learning
To accept what
it means to exist
In borrowed rooms