Silent Grief

I’m not sure if it’s just me or the rest also notice,
It feels like the house has been getting darker,
Smaller as days go by,
Feels like I can’t breathe anymore.

Or it’s just me feeling suffocated,
On some days I want to scream,
Scream my heart out,
Maybe that would bring comfort,

Each day my heart gets heavier,
Too heavy to carry
Too heavy to breathe,
Too heavy to live.

How do I tell everyone that I still miss him,
How do I share the dreams of him,
How do I miss a man condemned by society,
Condemned because they called him weak,

A man that chose a rope,
He chose to the end,
And not the hope,
He chose death.

But I don’t call him weak,
We, we were weak for him,
We stepped out,
When all he wanted was us to step in.

So how do I say that grief is my new attire,
How do I say it loud,
How do I say that the pain consumes me,
The pain cripples me.

Who will understand the pain in my heart,
The grief of mourning a man I miss,
A man nobody talks about anymore,
A man they call a shame.

If only the judgment in their eyes,
The condemn in their voice,
Would all go blind and numb,
Maybe then I could share my pain.