A Broken Orchid

I wish you held me once, more closely
Caressed me beautifully like I was golden
I wish I made you smile; wholly

I wish I was more than a memory you hate
One you kept fighting hard to escape
I wish my existence wasn’t your greatest regret

Then maybe you’d have stayed
Maybe you’d have changed my napkins; fed me breastmilk
Maybe you’d have watched me take my first steps towards you

Maybe I’d have bloomed like an orchid
Filled with all of your loving
Wearing the same fabrics as you
Maybe, just maybe

But enough, right?
Of my endless wishes of a time I already lived
Enough of the maybes and the painful phases

You walked and I bloomed
You hated and I learned to hate you too
You chose and it was never me
So I learned to choose everyone else but you.