A PLACE OF RED

It’s damp in here,
The stench of decay and rust fills
My nostrils, but I don’t know what reek is,
It’s dark, I see nothing and I know not of sight,
Occasional muffled sounds fall on my ears, though
I can’t begin to comprehend what
Sound might be, but I imagine,
It’s cold, refuse; rot and garbage swathe my whole,
I can’t help bar wonder, is that what I am?

I remember a place of red, a place of blood,
I recall dropping in a conduit and streaming
Down, down and down propelled by will,
I remember bumping into a fish, a fish that swam
so hard with nothing but hope, purpose, A fish pursued
by a million others,
I recall the wry face it had after the race, the perspiration,
I remember our union, our eternal embrace, it just felt right,
It was always a part of me, a missing part of me, I was a whole,

I recall growing, every single day,
The head, spine, then heart, kidneys,
Liver, I recall feeling my muscles stretch
The length of my forming body, the bones
Calcifying, the lungs, the gut. I remember it all,

I remember hearing the soft voice of my mother,
A voice I so longed-for, a voice that will call the name
That I was yet to know, a name I’d carry for the rest of my life,
I recall her blubbering one night,
and this brought turmoil in the place of red,
I whispered out to her, the best way I could, I kicked
I wanted to tell her that everything will be okay,
Except I didn’t have the words, I didn’t have the voice,
Even if I did, I don’t think she’d hear me from the place of red,

When I was close to leaving the place of red,
I remember a sharp metal rod from an opening below,
At first I was excited, to the moon and back,
I thought my mother wanted to play, something I
Yearned so much, I didn’t sway when it was thrust forth
Into my chest, the pain was excruciating, and I know not of pain,
I was awestricken, which game was this?
I didn’t wanna play no more, I yelped and fussed
The only way I could,

The metal kept jabbing at me over and over again,
I cried in agony, my cord broke, I started to drown,
I was suffocating, I was dying, I tried to flee except
I couldn’t,
My arms went off, my legs fell, my skull was broke
Wide open and my brains poured out like goo,

I recall he who played faultily, he was dressed
In a green gown, I know not of color but I’m certain it was,
His googly eyes were empty,
It was like I was staring in a black hole,
He shoved me into a polythene bag in a blink,
And it went black,

Inside the polythene bag, it was unlike anything,
It was unlike the place of red, the place I was close
To my mother, the one woman I badly wanted to see,
To cuddle up in her arms, to listen to as she sung a lullaby,
Me drifting to sleep,

Dear mother, I’m writing from a dumpster floor,
In a bag of polythene, I want you to know I’m okay,
The rats are slowly gnawing pieces of me, I think they
Like me. I Hope you’re finally happy. Mother I
forgive you, I love you!

Muzamir

PS: I haunt you!