PICKING UP THE BROKEN PIECES ( I OVERCAME)

I think you can help me relate to this, Do you ever do something silly or stupid with the aim of awaiting someone’s reaction so that you can either both laugh or have something to talk about? That’s what we did when he was around so basically when any of us tried it now, it is not fun or hilarious again, he is not here anymore. A fact that we all have to embrace.
I still had a few months counting to my final secondary exam so I was on my way back to school in Nakuru. My dad always took me back to school every beginning of the term. It was our “thing” and i never got old for that. This time I was seated all alone in that bus, my brain took me back to the last moments together when he was telling me of how he’ll come pick me up after my last paper and how big my success card will be. I was seated their giving him details of how big i wanted it to be plus “isikuje ikiwa tupu” typical form four candidate asking for money to be placed in the card for canteen purposes. Little did i know that it was the last journey with him to school. Am practically in tears writing this article…it just brings pain.

am naturally a noisy child, my closest friends and family can testify to this. As I had stated in my first episode, him and I were pretty close so any gossip I had about school I would tell him. I remember crying back home almost everyday because my friends in primary had made fun of my voice. Heads up, am one blessed lady when it comes to my voice,? I got to learn about this in high school. I had a nick name “Loud speaker”…and yes I know it’s embarrassing, but guess what I overcame that. I later got baptized to “Baby Lizzy” ?. This was because they thought that my voice was too deep for a girl. I couldn’t keep quiet in class and I couldn’t whisper so guess who was constantly in the noisemakers list…yes this girl.

I would tell him all about the songs they had composed for me and he would say, these kids are only jealous of you because your voice can scare away thieves once they hear it and they won’t think of robbing our house. I think of that and laugh at how childish I was back then. So for the three years that I had been in highschool my school mum helped me gather confidence when it came to my voice. She would tell me that my voice was just perfect for news anchoring or hosting shows and even singing, that was how I got to select my career course. At first I was like no mum that can’t be me. Believe it or not I turned my biggest weakness into my greatest of strength and am no longer the “Loudspeaker” but a violin. I overcame that in the long run.
I had been dying to tell my dad about it and whenever I would want to tell him something just came up and that’s the only part of me that he never knew of. I don’t regret never mentioning it to him cause am very sure that wherever he is, he sees my efforts and he’s proud of me.
Have you ever realised that you always Ok about something unless someone asks you about it or tries sympathizing with you on it? Well I had vowed not to show my weakness to anyone once i got back to school, but it all crumpled once I saw how the teachers, my fellow students and other staff members looked at me. I felt so torn, damaged and vulnerable. I would give myself a lecture in the washroom telling myself that “Elizabeth Bahati is not a cry baby and School presidents don’t cry but merge on”. That used to be motto whenever I was on the verge of tears.
Battling that particular emotional trauma and the anxiety brought along with the Matiang’i error reduced me from the plus size that I used to be to this negative one sized being that I currently am.
The journey to overcoming is not an easy one for I won’t lie that I have never broken down ever since the incident happened, I have, countless times, but i believe crying sometimes eases the pain. I once broke down after reading an article on a 17 year old girl who lost her entire family of five in a car crush on their way to her prayer day in school. Another incident was when I was watching this movie titled “Hannah” and ended up breaking down after seeing how she got devastated after her father died. So i would say any emotional articles, movies or scenarios just get to me.

Am sure people out here who have gone through worse situations than me and overcome them. I really salute you people for passing through that phase successfully. Coming out stronger than ever before is what counts. It’s been three years now ever since it happened and I thank God that He gave my entire family and I the peace of mind and happiness that has kept us going all through out.

Picking up the broken pieces and body is proof that you can overcome. I overcame grief, what of you?

Lots of love ❤.

Story By Elizabeth Bahati