WILL RAPE ACTS EVER COME TO A HALT?

A recent European Union-wide survey suggests that one in 20 women aged 15 and over in the EU have been raped. That is around nine million women. A British study last year found that one in 10 women said they were raped while at university.

As a university student, I have come to realise that many young people are not clear in their own minds about what constitutes rape or sexual assault. There are too many ‘blurred lines’, or ‘grey areas’ and – unlike other crimes such as theft, or assault or fraud – many of us seem to be unclear about what counts as rape.But despite this confusion, the actual definition of rape should be very straightforward. Namely, rape occurs when one person intentionally penetrates another’s vagina, anus or mouth without the other person’s consent.

Simple. A sexual act becomes unlawful when it is carried out without the other person’s consent.The reverse is also applicable to men

Yet, even though the legal definition of rape in international standards appears to be clear, it seems that it has not fully become recognised by society.

Research also revealed that more than one in four people believe that sexual intercourse without consent may be justified in certain circumstances, such as if the victim is drunk or under the influence of drugs; or voluntarily going home with someone, wearing revealing clothes, not saying “no” clearly or not fighting back.

Flawed and outdated definitions of rape perpetuate a dangerous culture of victim blaming across the continent. Women’s fear of not being believed is confirmed time and time again, as we see courageous survivors who seek justice frequently failed by the law.

But definitions are not enough. Whilst the law in Kenya and in ¾ of countries in the world may be clear that sex must be consensual, this does not always translate into day to day life. The popularisation of ‘lad’ culture in universities, which promotes hypermasculinity and the glorification of sexual conquests, perpetuates the idea that male students should have access to women’s bodies for their own gratification.

This, along with the ‘boys will be boys’ mentality, warps sex into something for men, done by men to women, without regard for the woman’s sexual happiness or wellbeing. This toxic culture that encourages men to view women as passive sex objects needs to be addressed.

Many people believe that rape occurs only when one person is struggling and actively saying no. This is not the case. If there is no consent it is rape, even if the victim stays quiet and does not resist.

It is also essential to realise that consent is not merely about not saying no – it is about the power to say yes. Furthermore, it is the ability to change your mind as consent is an ongoing process rather than a one-time statement. Consent is empowering, as it gives each and every person power over their own body; to either willingly engage in sexual acts or to stop before they start to feel uncomfortable. Any sexual act that goes against these principles is unlawful and knowing this is important

Will rape acts ever come to a halt?

Interesting how sexual abuse is not a big  deal until your six year old daughter is raped on the way from school or your twelve year old sister who lives on the far side of town;not unless it happens to your favourite aunt or your aging mother who recently turned seventy.

The other day was it not you who Looked the other way as a girl young enough to be your daughter was sexually harassed on the bus? Forgive you, why? Because she wasn’t related to you or because it was none of your business?

What about last Monday when you had breakfast at that fancy restaurant down the street. Was it appropriate how you stared at that lady’s breasts without a bit of shame in your eyes? Did you feel any guilt when she felt so embarrassed that she hurriedly left without finishing her food? What if a 40 year old man did that to your teenage daughter? Today at the office, that lady Karen was looking lovely, wasn’t she? So great that you couldn’t keep your hands from “accidentally” brushing on her thighs during tea break? But it wasn’t your fault, right? She should learn how to wear longer skirts at the office, right?

You see, every time you watch as a girl is molested or abused and fail to lift a finger to help her out, everyday that you remind your teenage daughter to get home before dark,everytime you scold your wife for going out with a body hugging dress,every time you stare at a lady’s body inappropriately in public,everytime you force a girl to have sex with you simply because she has branded you the title“boyfriend”,everytime you ask “what was she wearing ” when a girl is raped.

You are a big rapist as those men who forcefully insert themselves into innocent daughters, wives, sisters and mothers. And for your information a man doesn’t have to stick his iron rod into a lady without her consent for it to be considered as rape. Any form of sexual abuse is rape.

So everytime you hear of a rape case and are quick to think “she must have done something to lure him into committing the act”, you are not the one sitting in that fancy apartment feeling sorry for the victims. You are the one doing the raping. You are the cancer eating Kenyan girls alive.