HOPELESS

By Njeri Gachugu

I know it will scare you,
But I have to tell you this,
I am scared to death too.
I love you and you are perfect for me,
I see your flaws as clear as sea water,
But I find myself wanting to handle them,
With you, for you.
I want to get mad at your annoying habits,
I want to learn how to calm your demons,
I want to experience life with you,
Plain and simple.

I look at you,
And this huge crushing wave overwhelms me,
I can’t seem to shake it off,
And I know am fucked.
I am fucked because I love you so much,
In a world that knows no love.
In a world where sex,
And situationships are the new romance.

I want to write you love notes,
Take walks while holding hands.
I want you old school where I get butterflies,
When I hear your laugh,
Where I have sweaty palms,
Just thinking about meeting with you.

I want to cook you a meal you love,
I want to stay up at night,
With you as we watch the damn stars.
You make me want to bust into song as I shower.
Stay with you for days,
And not feel like am missing out on the world,
A rare gift that would be.

With you I want to go crazy, crazy in love.
I want to love in a world that loves dead.
I want to take care of you when sick.
I want to share in your pain and mistakes.
I want to grow when you are by my side.
I want to become better as you watch me,
I want you to feel proud of me, my darling.
My heart is calling out for you.
My soul hungers for you.
I know you don’t feel the same way,
But if you ever feel anything for me,
I will be waiting.