“Girlfriend, what took you so long? I’ve been waiting all day, literally all day, let’s sit at that table” said Cindy. Be fifteen minutes late and you won’t hear the end of it plus she’s always complaining about anything and everything right from the waiter’s attitude to the weather, she can be a handful I promise. “Sorry I had a lot of paperwork to finish up on but now that I’m here, how about we bury the old hatchet,” I said with a smiling face hoping to appease mother hen. So we sat at the table by the window and ordered our usual sweet peppermint tea. The restaurant was awfully quiet except for the jazz music, one of the reasons we keep coming back to this place. “You better have a good reason for dragging me across town,” I said jokingly. The atmosphere was suddenly dense. “What’s up Cindy? You know you can tell me anything,” I said and with a huge sigh, she began:
“Mark is never home and I’m a good wife Maureen, I try to be but there’s only so much a person can take. So yesterday after work, I went with a couple of friends to the bar down the street. I felt a little overwhelmed by everything around me and I needed an escape and I know you are about to tell me there are better ways to deal but you are in no position to judge how I choose to deal with my mess so just listen. And I wouldn’t call you if I didn’t need your help. I must have heard a few too many drinks cause all I remember from that night is me searching frantically for my car keys and staggering out of the bar. The parking lot was dark and quiet and empty except for my car. And I remember wondering why no one bothered to tell me they were leaving. My vision was somewhat blurry but I remember seeing a tall dark figure standing by the street lamp next to my car but my biggest concern was getting home to an angry Mark so I just kept walking, or staggering, whatever I just kept moving.
So I get to my car and this guy says hello. It’s natural instinct to ignore a stranger talking to you in the dark parking lot but he kept moving closer to me. I was scared Maureen, and I didn’t know what to do, I was too drunk to fight him. He grabbed me by my arm and held me close to him. I could feel his heavy musty breathe on my neck. I was too wasted to even scream. He threw me down and covered my mouth with his huge sweaty hand,” by this time Cindy could barely speak, her eyes were stinging with tears.
“He tore off my clothes, I tried fighting him but he hit me again and again and pushed me back down, I could barely breath. He took away my dignity Maureen and I don’t even remember his face. I’m scared of telling Mark, so I called you. I’ll tell him and he’ll say I had too many drinks, I should have stayed at home. He’ll say probably my dress was inappropriate so no, I’d rather have him think of me as the good, responsible wife.” I could see the pain and hurt in her eyes. I could feel her still fighting the memories of yester night, the trauma that she has to learn how to live with.
“Cindy, it doesn’t matter if you had a couple of drinks or your dress was inappropriate, rape is rape and nothing can justify sexual violence. And it’s not your fault so don’t ever feel the need to defend yourself. It doesn’t matter if Mark believes you or not, I believe you and we’ll get justice, I will be here whenever you feel ready to go after the man who did this to you. It doesn’t matter whether it will take months or years, you will get justice, trust in the system. And I’ll be here to help you get through this.” I rubbed her hand gently as she stared out the window and I knew it would take more than just words to get her through this.
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