I found a new love, a new honor, a new obsession , a new high and higher form of high. Your ‘Highness!’, you deserve all my praise and uplifting as you are my support all the time. You make me feel alive and lively I got no interest on other worldly pleasures. You drag me wherever you go and I even follow you before I know where we are headed. Yes you! My drugs.
I wonder how getting high feels like…? It all started with one silly question. Never seemed like things could get so deep and I’d find my solace through drinking, sniffing, injections or even ingestion. I never knew I could create my own world that had only heaven. But wait, it’s hell had been waiting for so long only that I have been blinded by these misplaced confused illusions.
I’m drowning. My head is spinning and it can’t seem to stop. I’m embarrassed. Embarrassed that talking about this makes me feel like I’m already loosing the worth of a ‘Lord’ I have been. Nothing got me so serious for quite a while, as with only one sniff, I could fly high and at times take a sneak pic at the guardian angel. Too sad how he took me back to earth saying I had to be ‘clean’ to have a full view of him.
I agree it feels good. It felt like I had the whole world all to myself. Being on cloud nine isn’t all a tap tap do kinda thing but believe you me, I attest it was beautiful. Beautiful till when lately everything started tilting. Tilting and shaky I could not have a grab of anything no more. I wanted a lot more to myself but nothing stayed. They all slipped from my little man hands.
Pennies are drying out. My body is asking for more. What do I do? I need help. I need a shoulder to sob on as I get these hallucinations since now I can’t afford blunts and powders on a daily basis. I need someone to tell me that all I’m seeing is not real. I need to wake up from this slumber.I’m badly addicted.
Mine runs out and I run to my friends house to look for some. Left overs maybe or even run to my mom’s handbag to look for left over coins. But I’m tired of this type of life. I want to be a normal person. I want to take tea and feel as satisfied. I want to sleep without using anything to force it. I want to stop tossing and turning like a lost son. I want help.
This addiction keeps adding more ingredients every time.It will add ‘salt’, add all the ‘spices’on the world till I can’t hold any more add-ins. It’s adding to my thirst and problems every time. That’s why I need help.
I want to be sober once more. Laugh normally, love something new, love something better and live new. Live a life that has only issues that can’t pop up bigger issues but issues that can’t be handled anytime they need handling. Leave old and lift new.
I need to live a fresh, not being scared of an addict I have been but live as a living testimony and attest to all I’ve been through with drugs. I wanna help someone quit drugs before they even start them. Because if many of us get drugged in, who will be there to drag us out?
I say enough is enough. No to addiction, no to drugs. I want to be free!
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