The Day I Buried You

I have gone through this thought a thousand times,
Crafted a memory in my mind where you never left,
A hidden reality with you in it.
I would play with my hands,
As you spoke of a tale that made my heart melt
And together we would build a castle.
But I guess it’s all in my mind,
For the day I buried you, I buried my hope too.

I was scared of loving you,
But I had a million reasons why it was easy to love you.
My heart grew fond of your silly jokes,
And even though no one ever knew,
Our worlds almost became one.
And I thought I had time,
Convinced my heart that this was a little game,
So the day I buried you, I buried my heart too.

I have let fear dwell in my heart,
For I was never ready to lose you.
I often wonder what would have been,
For your consistency revealed my past traumas,
But still with your warm hands,
You held my heart,
Like fragile hearts can’t break,
So the day I buried you, I buried a part of me too.

I have often dreaded death,
But I never knew that its claws would dig into the one I love
So when news spread, I found a cave and hid in it,
Wishing it was all a dream but I was wrong.
Your absence affirmed my fears and made my heart shiver.
And even though I got my goodbye,
I never thought I would have to let you go.
So the day I buried you, I buried so much more.