Grieving Man

I still buy her gifts on some days,
On other days I dial her number,
Some days I text her up,
Like she’s here.

My mind has refused to erase her,
I still hear her voice,
I still feel her presence,
Mind games, maybe.

Is this what they call grief?
Does it always consume the heart?
Nothing feels the same,
Nothing tastes the same.

It’s been 7 years,7 months since she left,
Since death loved her more,
Since the universe ganged against me,
Since I lost my love, my heart.

My friends say I need to move on,
But what do I move on to,
Where do I move on to?
How do I start?

How do I tell my friends, I still talk to her,
I still hear her laughs,
Her jokes, her unending stories.
How do I leave that behind.?

I heard about reunion in death,
I can’t lie, I have thought about it,
Uncountable times,
Too many times to be precise.

I have wished for it daily,
Just to have that reunion,
But death seems to dislike me,
Crazy is what I sound like.

But I am only a grieving man,
I am that misses his better half,
My therapist says it’s denial,
But I know what I feel, what I hear.

I choose to miss her in my own silence,
I choose to keep her gifts close,
I can’t tell out my thoughts,
I choose to look normal, not crazy.