My Joy

Her eyes scream.
The hatred packed in her heart,
Can see despise from how she speaks,
Her words, her tone, her expressions,
All speak the gospel of resentment.

The older she turns, the further
The further we drift,
Maybe it comes with age,
Or maybe it’s just a stage,
Or maybe her actions are my wages.

My payment for letting her mother go,
Sometimes I look at my reflection,
All I see is rejection,
A man that seeks recognition,
From his only daughter,
I see a failed father.

The hate in her eyes is well-deserved,
Maybe I should have fought and,
Fought to keep the family whole,
Maybe then would the hole in her heart be spared,
Maybe, maybe,
But I have given my whole life,
To give her hers.

Every step of the way,
I have showered her with love,
I am not a perfect father,
But I have tried to be best in every way,
I have tried.

Sometimes I want her to see my efforts,
To see that I stayed when her mother left,
To acknowledge that I tried, I tried,
To love me as her father,
I want to tell her how hard it gets sometimes,
How things get overwhelming,
How I can’t breathe when things start falling apart,
But I can’t.

I have to be strong for her,
No matter how much she spills out her hatred,
I wish she would take time,
And see the love in my eyes,
The care in my words,
Maybe then she would call me dad,
If only she would listen,
To the heartbeats of my love,
But she remains my daughter,
She remains my joy.