I haven’t written letters for years, petal,
And truly, this may not be what you like,
Even as I struggle to write down these words,
On an evening so lonely and empty without you,
An evening that should have had us together,
But I won’t whine about the impossible for now,
Because even with the lonely evenings here,
You’re the grace I have always held onto.
I want to ask how you’re doing over there,
To know how the society is on that side,
And whether you like it or hate it too,
But I am a selfish man, Petal, jealous, even;
I seek answers I am scared of accepting,
Perhaps that’s why the letter might not come,
Or maybe I don’t want to think of you there,
Without me and still happier than ever.
So, I’ll tell you about what it is like home,
How the emptiness is threatening my sanity,
How your lavender scent has me on a leash,
How I can’t breathe without thinking of you,
How I hate the sun for reminding me of this,
The lonely hours I have spent without you,
How I despise the fates for taking you from me,
How I am trying so hard not to follow you, love.
It’s only been three days since you left,
Three days since the sun walked out of my life,
Three since my world was back to being bland,
And it didn’t make me feel any better, love,
I hate it here without you, because it’s not home,
It feels like nothing was ever sane here,
Or maybe I have gone insane from thinking,
Of the endless times I’d hold you close.
I’m losing my mind in this home, petal,
The walls are filled with memories of us,
More like memories of me watching you,
Of your laughter echoing in the house,
Of your happiness brightening my soul,
And I wish to have them back desperately,
I need to have you back, or be beside you,
‘coz without you, I can’t function; oh, the irony.
I love you, but you already know that,
I just hope you know how much I love you,
Even if the sunset reminds me of you,
And I want the night to come fast,
But even in the night, the moon shines bright,
Never brighter than your heart-shaped smiles,
But bright enough to remind me of my misery,
Of just how much I miss you on this end of life.
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