Not A Handicap

You gave me that title
And I had to live by it
Conformed into it
Wore it all my life like a second skin

Believed that I was less than, incomplete
Saw and felt the pity from your eyes
Sometimes the disgust too
Took it all without raising my voice

You think you understand me
You think you know what I need
But the weight of this cross
Only I understand how much it crushes

Maybe I don’t like blue,
Maybe I want my hair long. I want to sit outside
I want to live truly for me
Not how you decide is best for me

With every move I make
Watched with hawk eyes
Like I’m a disaster waiting to happen

Once in a while however
I believed that sometimes
They’d choose me first
I keep hoping that sometimes
Things would come easy to me

But no. The world doesn’t work like that
And I have to deal with it all
Twice as much, twice as hard

Because the first thing you see
When you look at me
Is a handicap. And the cycle repeats