O HEART

I look at him who my heart desperately yearns for,
Him who has my stomach full of stupid butterflies,
Who makes my foolish heart beat so hard and loud,
So loud that I subconsciously keep looking around.
I notice his beautiful smile, today he looks happy,
And me, I’m a nervous wreck, masked by a bored face,
And for the hundredth time today, I thank her,
For forcing me to learn to have an expressionless face.

He is beside me, within reach, yet he is so far away,
I have the irresistible urge to get to know him better,
But I also have to push him away, to avoid any hurt,
Yet it’s hurting even more not listening to my heart.
As usual, he is curious, asking what’s in my big head,
I want to tell him what’s been keeping my mind busy,
Then I remember I have a useless reputation to keep,
And so I do the usual, I ignore him, and walk away.

As I walk away, I make my daily plea with the universe,
That somehow he looks my way, something I’m sure of,
Just that he looks my way, his eyes burning with passion,
And that he tells me what I’ve wished since I can’t recall,
That he gives me the hope I’ve desired from him for long,
That he comes after me, just like it happens in the movies.
If the universe would reveal people’s secrets to everyone,
I would definitely have to migrate to another planet. O heart.

My subconscious keeps nagging me, calling me a coward,
As if it would even have the courage to talk romance,
And as always we argue, an argument I know I’ll never win,
As the useless bastard is always right and I’m pissed again.
So I punch a hole in mother’s wall and flinch cursing in pain,
Something that he notices and rushes towards me, my poor heart.
I try to gain composure, but how can I be composed next to him,
For the first time I feel like a hopeless romantic, so I put it in poetry.

I want to fall in love with you, my handsome charmer,
But if only you would look at me, like the lovers do.
I want to know what love is with you, god of my heart,
But if only I could make a normal coherent sentence with you,
As concerns the matters of the heart, I would pray you daily.
I want to do with you what people in love do, sweetheart,
So I could also know what love feels like, in your universe.
I want to be my cray weird self with you, yum yum human.

I wish to see your perfections and love you, darling of my heart,
I wish to see and experience your imperfections with you,
And even then, I am sure I’ll still desire you in unthinkable ways,
Make unrealistic wishes to the universe, like having our own planet,
One that will have just you and me, and all our happy and sad moments.
I want to be myself with you, walk with you as mine, sweet charmer,
I wish to be honest with you without fear of judgement, darling,
Lift you up when you feel low, hug you tight when you need a hug.

I want to listen to you talk about your day, listen when you need me to,
Be there for you all the time, kiss you without fear, o lover of souls,
Show you I love you without being scared, shout to the world that I love you,
Fall in love with you over and again whilst loving you unconditionally.
Do let me love you, because I want to… I’m suddenly shut by a kiss, sweet Allah.