I never realized what it all was till I met her, she was ever so withholding and uninviting. Yet in some way I always felt her calling out to me. Maybe it was the black of her eyes that swallowed me whole throwing me into a sudden unending whirl whenever I stared into them, or maybe it was that aura that floated around her, one of darkness and death, one I wasn’t able to shake off anytime I stood so close to her. But I just couldn’t be away from her, in truth, I wanted her. The whole of me was obsessed and uncontrolled, my thoughts all wrapped up and focused on a single thing.
I remember feeling dangerously threatened and scattered all over for the wind to blow. But somehow, she had a way of putting a pin on me, just before I blew off. But it wasn’t a pin, she actually hammered me so permanently I could never leave.
So with her, I travelled from what I knew to be true and real, fell into a different realm of evil and luxury. Its ironical huh? How a person could love you and still hurt you with just a single deed, but she did. somehow, she loved me so much I swear I never felt such passion from anyone, it was as if some kind of possession, her love was so driven it trampled whatever perfect fantasies I ever had with anyone.
But she hurt me too, I remember times when she would literally break me, pick me up, put me back together just to break me again. Times when she shunned me like I was some piece of crap even when she knew exactly how helplessly I was dependent on her. Times when she pulled my heart out, drank from it then put it back like it was some sort of ring you could shove in and out any moment. She was like a broken church whose idea of overhaul was laughable.
But I stayed, honestly I don’t know if I could have ever left, if I could leave now or ever. She’s got me revolving around her like she was the world, and she has been, my world. So I’ve grown to love in the dark, shun all that’s bright and fight for what makes me happy, I’d kill and beg just for her. I’ve learnt early enough that you never really know what the future holds for you, I mean, if at any point I knew I was being haunted by the utmost unspeakable evil, maybe I’d have ran, but I would’ve never found such true love.
I loved a woman, and not just any woman, I loved the devil.
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