Does It Get Better After This?

Lorna.
I came back home. But..
You always insisted on me giving a call before I leave the barracks.
I understand why now.

I came back to a stranger in my house
To someone else kissing you, holding you

I came back half a man. An amputee
To the home we built together
To you dancing with someone else in our kitchen.

I was to sleep in a warm bed tonight
After countless hours, days and nights of staying awake
Guess that’s not happening, huh.

Did I expect too much?
Was it selfish to want you to wait for me?

Was I a fool,
To believe that you had it in you to wait for me?

We sure aren’t going to say I do,
In the presence of our family and friends.
Are we?
Even the deaths I saw in the battlefield didn’t make me feel this way

For tonight, as the cold rain washes over me
Disguising my tears, I can’t breathe.

A good part of me died in the war
And you just put a knife into the only good thing I was holding onto.

I can’t wish you all the best.
I can’t wish you happiness
I can’t say anything good to you at the moment.

Because I’m broken.
And I suck at pretending.

All I can do right now,
IS BREAK EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE I TOUCH