It’s not getting better like I wanted.
Forfeit smiles, the shallow laugh
And a dimmer glow in my eyes
Something is stuck in my gut
Irritating. Corroding. Burning. Stinging
Suffocating. Stinging. Piercing. Hurting.
Even air on the rooftops by myself isn’t enough
To lighten the tight grip around my heart
To make me breathe, freely, lightly, with ease.
I’ve tried meditation. A walk in the woods.
Therapy. Keeping diaries. Getting a pet
Making new friends. Meeting new people. Failed at all.
When I need to scream my voice escapes me
My tears fail me when I need them
And sleep, my one drug, becomes an unfaithful friend.
Surviving on crutches of strength
Feeding on carcasses of hope
For better….what is better if I don’t have you?
Take my body,
This bruised body.
Give me a break.
It’s not getting better.
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