Someday, I had dared to love,
Dared to believe in the reality of it all,
The possibility that there was always more,
More to the life I had wanted before all this,
And I met him, the boy with crooked teeth,
Whose love was pure and genuine for all,
Whose presence was like a breath of fresh air,
The boy in pretty Chelsea heel boots.
He looked like an angel that morning,
On the train so filled up on a rush hour,
His invisible angel wings were being pressed,
And I could see him tuck his tongue,
Before he smiled at the man beside him,
Muttering apologies like it was his fault,
When in reality, it wasn’t and never would be,
For the beautiful angel in a three-piece suit.
Oh, he was so damn beautiful for a man,
So pretty the world could crash on his beauty,
So perfect the skies would willingly bow,
He was everything I had dreamt of and more,
Hell, my dreams were not that perfect, ever,
And yet as the train moved, I couldn’t help it,
The urge to move closer, and ask about him,
The prettiest man on the train that morning.
He noticed me openly staring and I stilled,
Ready for the tell-off of the morning then,
But he just smiled sheepishly at me,
Like he was used to getting the stares,
Like this was nothing new to him,
In a city bustling with people and creeps,
And I felt something in my heart break for him,
But then it was hard not to stare at him.
Maybe it was love at first sight for me,
But it was just a normal day for him,
And I wanted more than just that from him,
I wanted him to notice me in the crowd,
Not because he had caught me staring at him,
Or because my jaw was constantly on the floor,
But because I wanted him all to myself,
It was hard to explain at the moment, so I ran.
I could swear on everything I had,
That I had moved back to give him space,
Yet as the train stopped, I was still rooted,
Staring shamelessly at the pretty train man,
Hoping that things were different for us both,
Even though I knew it would never be,
Nothing would ever change between us,
If ever there was an ‘us’ back then, but damn.
He had beautiful brown eyes,
Something I noticed on the tenth day,
The hundredth time he had caught me staring,
On the public train that I suddenly loved,
I wanted to switch seats and be next to him,
To ask him if he felt the pull between us,
But all that went down the drain then,
When the girl beside him, called him ‘daddy.’
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