HER

It was 4am in the morning and she couldn’t sleep, so she just sat on her bed and stared out the window. The night was still, the lingering darkness was a constant reminder of her past, of the demons that she battled every day. Against her better judgement, she quietly dragged herself to the kitchen and poured a glass of whisky. She sat on the kitchen counter,stared at the glass of whisky and tears rolled down her cheeks, tears of regret, anger, rejection and bitterness. “It’s way too early to start drinking,” she thought. She knew no other way of dealing with her past and now this addiction was slowly devouring her soul like a pest. To her religion was a concept far beyond her understanding so neither could she find comfort in the son of man. “I have great plans for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you…..Come to me all you that are weak and heavy laden and I shall give you rest” none of these made sense to her. She tried wrapping her head around it but she couldn’t have a grip on the wisdom of the ancient words.

“I will rip you down and stack you up block by block. I’ll follow every line on your tired face. I’ll want to know how you got that scar on your left cheek. I’ll want to know your favorite brand of toothpaste,what you think about when your mind wanders off, whether you think roses are cliché or you would want tonnes of them on Valentine’s day. I’ll want to know whether you prefer the ocean or the mountain side, red or green apples. I could promise to love you forever but I won’t live that long so I will love you for as long as I live. Promises are for optimistic people, but I’m not optimistic, I am sure. There’s nothing about you that I wouldn’t want to know.” His words were still fresh in her mind, she could still smell his cologne but all she had left of him were memories. She believed in true love and happy endings but he took that away from her and trampled on her. He touched her pure soul with dirty hands. She wondered whether he meant any of the words he spoke but the answer was right in front of her, you do not hurt the people you love.

She saw him in every guy she met and she felt the anger and hatred all over again. She was tired of constantly spreading all the hate, anger and bitterness to innocent people. For the umpteenth time, she picked herself up and dusted her tired soul. Piece by piece, she would stack herself up. She would be her own knight in shining armor. She had learnt better than to seek refuge in mere mortals. She knew better than to place her fragile heart in the hands of vultures. Her eyes were now heavy with sleep so she walked back and slowly crawled to bed. For the very first time, she whispered a prayer to the big guy up there. At the bottom of her heart, she still believed in a power far greater than her and she hoped to tap into it someday. For now, she hoped for a little cheer, a little laughter and a brighter tomorrow. She hoped for courage to face life.