YOU, YES YOU…

You, yes you… 
You taught me that this world, 
This world is full of monsters with beautiful faces and sweet words,
So pure on the outside…
Yet dark and festering on the inside.
Who break others just because they can.
You who nearly broke me,
You, yes you.
I once loved you.
My sun rose and set with you
You were my everything… My end game.
The day we swore our lives to each other,
Was the happiest of my life.
Little did I know that was beginning of the end
Things changed…
Small, little things,
Your temper became just a bit shorter,
Your words a tad bit sharper, 
Then your fists a bit looser…
And fool that I was,
I endured it,
After all… Love is perseverant is it not?
To the world around us, we had it all…
The beautiful, perfect couple.
Yet to you, I could never do anything right,
But I so wanted to please you
So I tried even harder.
And then…
I began dreading the nights
Praying that you wouldn’t come home
For when the sun set
The horrors began…
You took what you wanted from me,
‘No’ was no longer a word in my vocabulary.
After all, you would say,
Before God and the law of the land,
That was your right.
I could not deny you… You made sure of that.
For if my mind and tongue denied you,
Your fists would make sure that my body would not.
Again and again,
A seemingly endless cycle…
You broke me down with your words.
Branded your words into my body and skin,
Made sure that I was too ashamed to tell another soul,
Made me believe that this was what I deserved.
You would say that you loved me….
That I was the most important thing in your life,
That you would kill us both if I ever left
You would apologize,
And I, a thrice be damned fool
Would belive you.
Things would be OK for a while…
But like a broken record,
The cycle would repeat. 
I was drowning,
Trapped in a hell scape of seemingly my own creation,
A black, cold and unforgiving reality
That I was your property
Subject to use and abuse at your whims.
Then… You ripped that unborn child from me,
Took her with your bloody fists…
And acted like you had done nothing wrong,
Like it was just a normal day to you,
Another day to make use of your property.
Shame on me that that was what it took
For me to realize…
That this path we were on would only lead to a cold grave,
And that I loved this life too much
To rot in the earth so soon.
I would fight with whatever little of me that you hadn’t pillaged and broken.
And as I stand here watching them lower you into the ground…
I’m glad I did.
Who knew that the feeling of cold, grey steel sliding into warm flesh would be so freeing?
That the warmth of fresh red blood would give me hope?
Self defence was the verdict,
The whispers follow me as I walk down the street,
People still wondering why…
I drop a handful of damp sand into your grave. 
A cold mist crawls around my ankles, 
Reminding me that I am alive
That I still have breath in my lungs
And that you… Yes you
Were a beautiful monster.

Gihihi?