They say the queen ant feeds off its offsprings
I can say that’s true for my father,
Every girl adores her dad, and believes
He’s the one man she can turn to when
The crazy world unleashes it’s wrath, and so it
Was, so I thought,
I was his beautiful princess; he swore to defend me,
He vowed to shield me from the cruelty
Of the world, his warm aura enshrouded me
As his words left his mouth, I was still wrapped in
Sheets, straight out of the labour room,
My mother smiled,
And promised to support him
in his oath, Sadly she didn’t live to fulfill her
Promise, she was taken a little too soon, just shortly
after I was born,
my dad took up the mantle of a mother,
my whole world resolved around him,
Frankly, he was my everything,
I grew up a happy kid, everything was fine, I couldn’t
Feel the vacuum my mom had left, my superhero dad
Was there to fill, and he did a darn good job
If someone told me I’d be in this position,
if one cited that I’d be amidst such
pain, I’d simply snub, I’d say they were deluded,
I had my heaven on earth, it was paradise everyday,
Years floated by and in an instance I was a fine young woman;
The years of teen was upon me, my body was changing so fast,
It was impossible to keep up,
My periods, the first time they kicked in, I was scared
Out of my skin, my dad soothed me, with his thoughtful words, he made
It easy to live past, to live with,
From then, he hinted on my stunning resemblance with my mom,
I was happy I reminded him of her, the love that he lost too soon,
Days, months, we grew closer, more intimate, it
Seemed normal, then less, then weird, then atrocious then despicable,
I was not only making love with my dad, but I loved it,
As every action has an equal but opposite reaction, the man of old, the man
Of wisdom was quoted to have said,
I become pregnant; I bore a child to my father,
It was disgusting, but I was thrilled to find out,
I thought he will be as well,
The news wasn’t close to good, he snorted in disbelief,
He sent chairs flying; he rammed the walls with his fists,
He sat on the floor and whined, he cried blatting out like
A child, I was stunned, how was he not happy?
After that, he become withdrawn, he stumbled into alcoholism,
Did recreational drugs, my father was slowly losing
Himself, he couldn’t bear the shame that would
Come with my child, with his child, with our child,
I loved him so much to see him fade away, to see him get drawn
Into the shadows,
I took it upon myself to save him, even though it meant
Losing the precious gem in my womb; I visited a doctor, at
Least that’s what the sign post said, I was scared, and he
Could see it all over me, he sat me down, he calmed me,
I begged him to do it, I begged him to make it all
Go away, I begged him to take away my child,
I’m lain in a pool of blood, how I came to this,
I don’t know, or maybe I do, but I choose not to,
My dad somehow traced my whereabouts, and in a while he was standing by my side, He got on on his knees, shaking
He was stinking of alcohol, he was dead drunk, wasted, He’s stormy eyes glistened with tears, he stroke my hair backwards, passionately,
The Doctor paced back and forth, muttering
Unintelligible words, mayhap I had lost too much blood
and wasn’t just hearing him, I turned to face my father, a warm bead of
Sweat rolling down my pale face,
“My daughter, my love why?” he cried
“Dad, I was doing this for you” I heaved a sigh “And dad, I love yo… I breathed my last.
A note from beyond.
Muzamir
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