That evening wasn’t normal like any other evenings. I was in doubt where
fear trolled all over I found myself. I can tell, it was an exceptional cold
evening like never before.
As soon as I entered my mum’s bedroom, my phone rang, it was a call from
my uncle.
“He rarely call me at night, actually I’ve been with with him the whole day
at my grandmother’s place. Why is he calling me now? What had he forgot
to tell me in those amazing and traumatic stories we shared about Ndugu
Yangu the last granddad?” I asked myself those thousands rhetorical
questions. An Expression of the profoundest disgust gleamed for a moment
in my face over those questions.
I had no option but to receive the phone call and listen to what Mr. Barasa
had to tell me that unforgettable evening.
But how could he call me via my handset when he’s used to reach me
though my Mum’s phone?
I can tell, the message wasn’t pleasant. My uncle was worried because the
area Sub-Chief had asked him who Mavin Mabonga is. Actually many
questions ran in his minds over the same questions the Sub-Chief was
asking him. This is the same Sub-Chief who later on handed me to the DCI
police officers without informing me what was happening.
“Does he has scandals? Why is the Sub-Chief asking him for? No, the boy is
always at home, day in day out locked in his spacious room.” The questions
and answers that Mr. Barasa was thinking and answering himself.
I was also in deep thoughts as he was asking me questions and uttering the
explanations on the phone call. I can tell I was dumbfounded because of
the unimaginable information I received that evening.
After the phone call, I took around 1½hours in the verandah thinking a out
what tomorrow might bring about
I didn’t tell my mum what happened but I guess she sensed there was
something strange that was disturbing me. On that evening, she had
prepared a delicious meal. You can guess what a Luhya man mean when he
says a delicious meal. Actually it was Ugali and Fish but the phone call had
sunk my normal appetite. When I entered the seating room, I immediately
unplucked my charger and went to my room.
On my bed, I felt a desert wind blowing outside. It was one of those hot dry
Santa Anas that came down through the mountains that passed and curled
your hair as they make your nerves jump as your skin itch.
Next day, it was on 30TH of April, this is the day I was taken in the Kimilili
district Police cell. I woke up very early than usual, at 6 o’clock and went to
my grandmother’s home to look after cattle. My grandmum was
overwhelmed, I’ve never done this before. On her side, it was the best of
times, the age of wisdom, the epoch of belief, the season of light, the spring
of hope because the day could end up in her books of records. For the the
first time, Mavin had woken up before anyone to go and look after cattle.
On my side, the day was worst of times, the age of foolishness, the epoch
of incredulity, the season of darkness and the winter of despair because if
the fear I had.
I looked after cattle for about 4 hours. My phone was on a flight mode. I
just wanted to listen to rnbs music, to those Ed Sheeran’s amazing lines. I
didn’t want disturbance or any form of interruption.
As I went back home, I wanted to do anything that could have kept me busy
but nothing was good. The best thing to do was to go through. What I
thought could be better was the story I had written about my cursed
relationship.
The Story of My Cursed Relationship
This past year has been quite a roller coaster ride with several different things, but most
notably, my ex-girlfriend and if it taught me anything, it’s that sometimes cutting ties
with a toxic person is the best thing to do for yourself.
The two of us had been together for very close to 8 months. I had just turned 19 a few
months prior to meeting her and she was about to turn 19 a few months after we
started dating, so we were each other’s age mates and sweethearts in a sense. We had
really only known each other for about 4 months before we went on our first date and
then began dating that same day (probably the first of many red flags to appear).
The first 4 months were incredible honestly, I was so happy I had finally found someone
to love and accept that I’m in love despite my sexuality and lack of religion, which
seemed to be major issues in my previous relationship. She was sweet, kind,
understanding, and listened to me without a single complaint. At least until I decided
she was ready to be my soulmate. She had already been subtly pressing about the whole
thing after a couple months of being together, but being the man of the house I was, I
didn’t recognize it as being pressuring. After the four month mark had finally arrived I
felt I was ready and I finally let her take the one thing I will never be able to get back
from her (love). From here on out, this is where things kinda start to slowly go down
hill.
About a month later she began to get less patient with me, less understanding, and
nowhere near as kind as she had been. She started to become extremely
uncommunicative with me and wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to tell her what was
bothering me. She acted as if my depression and anxiety were a massive burden to her
and would get annoyed with me whenever I got paranoid or super down some days. She
would constantly say that I had no reason to be depressed because I had her and we’d
make each other happy, which we did, but it should be known that, that’s not how
depression works.
At some point it got to where she would constantly interrupt me, run over me when
speaking, or completely ignore what I had said, especially when it came to my feelings
or what was bugging me. She would go hours without speaking to me, I’m talking
between 8-12 hours sometimes she’d go a full 24 hours without speaking to me and I
got absolutely no warning or anything and it would trigger all kinds of paranoia and
panic attacks, mainly because I worried about whether or not she was okay, that was
always my main concern. No matter how many times I tried to tell her this bothered me
and that if she knew she was to be busy on YouTube watching her favorite songs or
distracted to take five seconds to text me and say “I’m going tobe busy for a while, I’ll
talk to you later.” That’s all I ever asked for was some understanding and
communication. But I never got it and I felt like I was talking to a brick wall I knew I
needed to block her on all social media months ago, but my morals just wouldn’t allow
me to do that and I know that honestly our relationship should have ended before the
year mark even hit, but I truly loved her and thought she was the one so I held on as
long as I possibly could.
Within the past few days I finally decided it was time to block her on all forms of social
media that I could think of and completely cut ties with her, maybe not forever, but
definitely for a long while. I had so many friends tell me that I needed to because the
way she was acting was at this point obsessive. I’m glad I finally let her go, because now
I can focus on myself and my personal work and I already feel somewhat at peace.
As a final note here, I’m not claiming to be the “innocent” one in the situation. I know I
wasn’t perfect and there was a lot I said and did that was awful and I regret immensely,
but at least I can own up to it and acknowledge the fact that what we had was indeed
toxic and needed to end.
So to anyone, male or female, that may feel stuck in a toxic relationship or even
friendship for similar reasons, know that it is okay to cut ties with those who are not
good for your mental health. You should always be your main priority, I promise it’s not
selfish to take care of you first before anyone else. If small, still somewhat innocent,
little old me can go through this experience, survive it, and finally bounce back from it, I
promise you can too.
After thinking about what I had gone through my previous relationship, I never wanted
to be at home alone since I’d think about what might happen to me and also thought
that all girls are as wild as my girlfriend was. I decided to go and see my friend whom I’ll
not mention his name. He’s my friend since our childhood, we had made a tight bond
that has no melting or boiling point. I called him though WhatsApp call and made him
aware that I was going to meet him. Even though most of the people had deceased from
receiving visitors or friends at home as a way of curbing the spread of Corona Virus, the
world’s pandemic disease, he had no option but to accept that I should visit him. On that
cold day, he received me with a warm hug. He prepared a delicious meal. We were
sipping at the dining room as we chat on how campus life was in our various
universities. We shared our experiences then proceeded to Kim’s dishes hotel in Kimilili
town to enjoy delicious meals away from home. I was still in fear. As we ordered the
meal, I went though the newspaper that was in the table. I noticed that the virus in the
country was spreading all over . It was at it’s optimum peak.
After a couple of minutes of sharing the meal, my sister called me. She informed me that
the Sub-Chief wanted to meet me at his office. He had told my sister that he wanted to
offer me a job at his office. After the call, some questions ran through my minds. How
can the Sub-Chief give me the work in his office when his son who had finished form
four some months ago has no job and is just at home?
I guessed it was a set up. But how can it be a set up when I was sure I haven’t done any
crime. I’ve not stolen from anyone. I don’t seduce village girls who are under age. I have
not robbed from anyone. How can it be a set up? I called my uncle’s wife to help me Sub-
Chief’s phone number. She’s the cousin to the chief so I was sure enough I’ll get the
phone number. Immediately I called him, he asked me where I was. He then ordered me
to meet him at his office. When I reached his office, he had left. I only saw a private car
entering he gate with 2 men. They then went to the customer care’s desk. They
registered then asked the Sub-Chief via a phone call who the boy was. They pointed at
me then they immediately called me only to realize that I was under arrest.
At Kimilili Police cell … (to be continued)
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