By Nyaduwa Otieno
I believe feminism is only meaningful if men are viewed as part of the solution and not the problem; when men are deeply involved in women emancipation. I do not believe in ‘women only conferences’ that only foster hostility and resentment towards the other sex. Moreover, feminism should be the arousal of women to the fact that they are now on equal footing with men, not playing victim and blaming men for women’s problems.
I stand for equity and inclusion; for seeing an equal number of men and women in leadership positions. Right from the beginning of history, women have been on the receiving end of social injustices from the society. And in this century, there’s still oppression , discrimination and objectification that should be dealt with.
However, among women, there exists ‘the victim mentality’. The victim mentality trait is an acquired personality trait that is disempowering. A victim is overwhelmed by feelings of powerlessness and usually will not take credit for where they go wrong but instead will look for people or things to blame. In addition, feeling like a victim will make a woman paranoid and will constantly put her on the defensive.
Truth is, you cannot go into a race and expect to win having branded yourself a victim. If you believe the world is against you because you are a woman, then you become helpless and start blaming the world for your setbacks; you will not be able to take full responsibility for the times you made mistakes so naturally, you will not be able to learn from these mistakes.
You can’t get ahead if you are constantly suspicious of the non-existent negative intentions of the men around you or if you believe the other gender is happier or that their lives are easier. It takes hard work and positivity for anyone to succeed . Nobody has it easy. In short, stop obsessing over the ways women are disadvantaged. Focus on what is working and compete on the same level as men.
Again, the assumption that womanhood is a single, universally shared experience is false. The problems women face toady are not women’s problems, they are societal problems. Women exist in relation to the whole society, not in relation to men.
Understand and synergise the female energy that is emotional, relational, creative and journey-oriented. This way, there will be no need for you to wage war against anybody.
About the Author
