BAPTISM

I feel guilty,
I feel guilty of hiding the truth,
My pockets filled with apologies,
Ready for disposal whenever my mistakes are revealed,
Trying to negotiate solutions with fiction
Its never easy to confess,
Ever remains a hard process,
My faith is a little complicated,
And this guilt suffocates me.

Throwing your expectation,
Of what you want me to do,
Yet I feel so dead inside,
Can’t live up to what you want me to be,
You never realize,
You throwing wind in my direction,
I can only feel it and hear it
But I can’t be!

I have been letting people down,
Ever since my initiation to the church,
None of you knows how it feels like,
Disappointing everyone,
I try to pray about it,
But any time I close my eyes,
I only see me swimming in an ocean of sin,
Waves of guilt rushing over me,
My faith is a broken light,
So dim I cant even see through it,
Locked up in this cage

But lately I have this new feeling,
A rebirth of soul,
Reawakening of the spirit,
Renewal of the heart,
Baptism.

No longer kept in the dark,
My mind set free,
My soul cleansed,
Free from iniquity,
Am no longer condemned,
My future seems bright,
I wake up to it every morning,
And Jesus welcome me into it.