WHAT HAPPENED TO ME

Not knowing what to do was the order of my everyday
I felt trapped in my own emotions
Had blank stares most of the time
Detached from my surrounding
I was existing but not living
They say, be your own cheerleader
But I felt a stranger in my own world
Others saw a new horizon
My vision was blank
Deep within me I knew nothing awaits
Yes I was existing but not living
The four walls of my room were my solace
In reality it seemed was trapped by those four walls, a prisoner maybe
But I felt comfortable there
Can’t count the number of times I cried
With various not so good thoughts running through my mind
I only understood darkness because my world was dark
My reality was numb and I detached from my reality
Trauma got me here and what was worse was that the events would play in my head over and over again
How do you free yourself from yourself?
From your emotions?
From your thoughts that take you captive?
I wanted to but didn’t know how
So I remained their, soaked
Watching each day pass
Lost track of day events and activities
Solace!!!